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Pre-tour poster
Additonal/Amended Rules (as of 12th May)
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Tour T-Shirts to be worn on the day of the tournament – this
is to get the use out of them after Jim has gone to the trouble of
getting them.
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We aim to LEAVE the club at 0330 so don’t be late –
unless you want to bed-bath Frosty!!
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With a high proportion of non-playing members touring, we need all
those that can play to at least bring their boots…that includes
you Sumo!!
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There will be a couple of hours ‘kip-time’ on the Friday….so
that we can then stay out until the wee hours.
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Don’t forget the uniforms are supplied but you need to bring
your own accessories. Nurses are
Cheers…and see ya Friday
Dr D.J. Lee
Friday 16th
May
Day - Club dress
Up early this morning as we depart at 0330 sharp on our luxury coach
for Stansted Airport and our 0730 Ryanair flight (Yep Jim…FLIGHT!)
to the capital of Europe – Brussels! (Not Yarmouth as many of you
thought..)
Arriving in Brussels at 0930 we test the efficiency of European public
transport to make our way into the city. (Shuttle costs 10 EUR).
Once in Brussels we have the day to ourselves to sample the many delights
of Flemish Architecture, sights include:
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The Mannekin Pis
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pub-stop
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the museum of beer
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pub-stop
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the Grand Place
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Guess...?
Our hotel for two nights is the deluxe Hotel Manhattan, four bedded rooms
are en-suite (Is Des coming?), with TV, coffee facilities, etc. breakfast
is included….behave, they’ve got my card number!!
Evening
Uniform
A top night is planned with a pre-tournament piss-up with free beer at
the Bok and Dragon Pub organised by the women’s team.
("Do you get the feeling that they are trying to weaken us before
tomorrow?").
A free barrel is on offer from 1900, with a disco followed by a likely
crawl around the cafes of Brussels: is there are doctor in the house?
Saturday 17th May
The day of the tournament...
... Brussels Barbarians formed in 1968 and have won
the Belgian national title on several occasions (also beating the national
side). They field players from all over the world including NZ, Australia
and have had players from the national Western Samoa team…I don’t
think they’ve done a ‘double’ lately though….so
should be a piece of Pis!
The tournament kicks off at 1030 with around 3-6 games depending on how
far we get.
There’s food and beer on offer and a women’s exhibition match
– I think they’re looking for players Whitey.
After the tournament there’s a 15-a-side exhibition game with players
from all of the teams taking part followed by a party in the Bok and a
night up town…not very original but a winning formula!!
Sunday 18th May
Before we depart there’s a little bit of time before we head back
to the airport for our 1355 flight back to Stansted arriving at 1400 –
No Shrek it’s NOT what you think! Should be time for a pub-stop
on the way home arriving at about 1900.
Questions and Answers
Q – What’s the theme this year?
A – Doctors and Nurses…tour
virgins are nurses, complete with little hats, tights and fake boobs please…or
real ones if you got ‘em.
Q – How do we get the gear?
A – The uniforms will be supplied as part of the
tour cost, they always come in handy later for fancy dress parties, dressin’
up with the missus etc. I would suggest buying a toy stethoscope from
the joke shop; Toddy is looking into getting some masks and surgical hats.
Q – Do we HAVE to play rugby?
A – Yep, Georgie Holmes has already demanded to
be Team Captain. Everyone who wants a game will get one…somehow
I don’t think that will be a problem.
Q – Why does Belgian beer
come in such pissy little bottles?
A – You’ll find out, my personal favourite
is Trappist or Hoegarrden Grand Cru at 9%. I think you’re supposed
to sip it…..
Q – What’s that on
the wing of the plane?
A – Fuck off George!!
Q – I paid £130-00,
if the flights are so cheap how come I haven’t had change?
A – Now listen Graham (Clarke), All in, inc. tour
t-shirt, hotel, tournament fees, flights, coach to Stansted, uniforms
etc. the tour should cost less than £130, the remainder will go
into the beer kitty as is the tradition. You should get a free night on
the jars.
Q – How do we get into Brussels?
A – Charleroi airport is about 30kms from the city,
buses and train are frequent and cost about 10 EUR.
Q – Do I need insurance?
A – I would recommend that everyone purchase their
own insurance prior to the trip. This is left out as some people have
year-long policies, etc., so you can please yourselves.
Q – What’s the currency?
A – Euros, about 1.32 to the pound.
Tour Rules
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No mobile phones on duty! – exceptional circumstances only.
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Nurses must address all senior staff as ‘doctor …..’
when in uniform.
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Mark Frost shall be known as ‘Professor’.
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Similarly all nurses will be known as ‘you girl’ ‘wench’
or similar when in uniform except Russ Clarke who must be addressed
as Matron and who is exempt from rule (2).
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Any doctor caught attempting to shag the junior staff will answer
to Matron.
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All nurses must make the beds each morning and turn down the beds
before venturing out for the evening, these will be inspected by Matron.
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All non-playing members of the tour are expected in uniform for
the tournament on Saturday.
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All members are expected to carry their staff ID at all times and
will produce this upon the call..’Is there a doctor in the house?’
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Any behaviour, which is not consistent with that expected on tour
– throwing your teddy, falling in love, etc., will be dealt
with swiftly by the General Medical Council (Fordy, Frosty and Cliffy).
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The nurse/Doctor ‘on-call’ shall have responsibility
for severely intoxicated colleagues (including the golden bollocks).
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All staff will report for duty at breakfast each morning by the
prescribed time and will not be late for duty at any other time.
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No sleeping whilst the majority of staff are awake.
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Any dubious behaviour will be dealt with efficiently by a painless
injection of cheap spirit and a downed-beer from the bottle.
See you bright and early Friday morning!
Back to Brussels 2003
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